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Rambles, ponderings, rants, and nonsense...
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Saturday, September 03, 2005
I am inspired with calmness and reassurance. This is a rare feeling. What does it mean to be free? At ease? Today I've felt free and at ease--for the first time in so many months? years? I've realized that I have overcome so many limitations, so many painful events in my life. To have this feeling, to know that there are people who share the same thoughts, words, and actions just like I do...
It's mesmerizing--a mystery. Something hard to explain, but yet it's there...
Despite the chaotic and tragic stories of the many hundreds and hundreds of people who have come over to Houston from the Hurricane Katrina disaster, I held on for them. I cried a little, knowing that losing homes and even the people you love can be just more than overwhelming. So I turned off the TV. It was just too much. I'm planning to help them soon--around the 12th-13th of this month at the George R. Brown Convention Center (aside from donating)...
I've realized that there are just so many things in my life that are incomparable to the events that are happening now (Louisiana & Mississippi). I have to admit that 9/11 didn't affect me that much. Yes, it was a tragic event, but I think it's because of other factors that made this Hurricane Katrina disaster a whole lot more tragic. Maybe it's the location of the tragedy, maybe it's Mother Nature, maybe it's because there are more problems to be fixed and more people to be taken care of physically and emotionally (than 9/11, which were buildings that can be rebuilt, etc.)... I mean, these people are more than displaced. They'd have to readjust! and then trying to figure out or planning out where to go from here--taking it one day at a time...
And before I did my chores today, I gazed at the peaceful pastel swirls of the clouds and the sunset and knew that I am content--just to be where I am today, especially how fortunate I am to know that Texas had escaped from the hurricane unscathed (even though we had rain and thunderstorms). Knowing that my own heart lies with those who are in need, who are tormented, who need help... Here, I follow my own destiny, my own dreams to use my heart, my wisdom, my knowledge, and my service for the world.
I've finally realized that UST has been THE perfect place for me to grow in every way. Even though there are so many transitions, changes, and challenges I'm getting adjusted to, I know that I am able to go through it all. It is my home and my strength...
I... am actually indebted to this certain person who has helped me realized this. A friend who has gone through nearly the same things I've done and thought about...
Yes, busy-ness and workaholicism seem to be the two things I bury myself under, just because I'm afraid to be consumed in such depression, frustration, and worries. These two things helped me resurface a bit and helped me stay afloat while I'm battling my way out.
Friends do help me stay sane. My family too (under normal conditions).
Escapism is lovely whenever it's needed, but ignorance is not bliss. The human intellect/will has the infinite desire to know... Just sometimes it will defend itself to act blindly and be ignorant of what's real or what's truth...
And with that, I leave you all (whoever is celebrating this holiday) with a happy and safe Labor Day (I'm just happy this is a day off. I have so much catching up to do...).
Good night, my dear friends.
// rambled by A~Lotus at 10:24:00 PM
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© Kathy Nguyen, 2000-present.All rights reserved, unless if noted otherwise.
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All rights reserved, unless if noted otherwise.
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