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Rambles, ponderings, rants, and nonsense...
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Saturday, May 22, 2004
Maybe I'm an insanely nervous, emotional wreck... I can't find myself to let ANYTHING go... =( *cry* I cry when people I want to talk to don't want to talk to me. I cry when I'm just sitting there swamped in sentimental bitter spirits. I cry when I don't get a response from someone. I cry even for absolutely no reason. I feel like I'm a crybaby at times. But SERIOUSLY, I have a somewhat small history of abandonment, and that's a phobia for me. I think that's why it's just making me over-react to even the smallest things. I don't know how to say good-bye or to even accept one. And yeah, I'm taking it badly... but really, it's a phobia... and I'm finally getting myself to accept that. I've been livng in denial for years, and now---I'm beginning to know myself---a WHOLE lot more...
I really don't want to be abandoned by the people I love and care about. I just CAN'T. Sometimes, I feel like I'm too dependent on people, but then again, when one thinks about it, I've been an independent young individual all my life, and I can't carry all the burden on my own like this. Doesn't anyone understand that?????!! I need help. A shoulder to cry on, some physical touch of re-assurance... like a hug, and my world would be perfect.
I would not need anything else.
// rambled by A~Lotus at 6:09:00 PM
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© Kathy Nguyen, 2000-present.All rights reserved, unless if noted otherwise.
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Lotus Love...
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© Kathy Nguyen, 2000-present.
All rights reserved, unless if noted otherwise.
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