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Rambles, ponderings, rants, and nonsense...
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Monday, January 05, 2004
January 4, 2004 entry:
Today is Kathleen’s 14th birthday. You will always be my little angel in heaven. I miss you.
Today is also my aunt’s death-day, for she passed away on her voyage over here to the U.S. from Vietnam.
I’m still sick, because now I have a sore throat and talking hurts. =(
Aside from that, I’m happy listening to music. Maybe I’m gonna go and get more sleep. Yesterday was the first time I’ve slept pretty well without having to toss and turn in bed and waking up in the middle of the night.
Okay, I’m gonna go and maybe lie down and rest now. I feel so worn out. . . =(
January 1, 2004 entry:
And sometimes, it’s funny: Sitting here on my bed with my pillow propped up against the wall supporting my back, I’m sick for New Year’s. So, I’m a bit more miserable than yesterday, with a cold and an unfocused head. It’s so weird how my fever comes and goes. Anyway, aside from the comfort of my bed, I’m enjoying how writing really eases so much tension in me.
I used to. . . or maybe I think I used to have a special close friend, whom I could spill all of my secrets to without having to worry whether if that person would betray my trust in them. . . I don’t know. It seems so long ago, and I can’t even recall a time when I did tell anyone my deepest hidden secrets. I’m just afraid that if I do, I can’t trust them anymore. . .
Maybe that’s why I feel like I’m always alone, despite the fact that I have tons of really good friends and a crazy, but supportive family.
Sometimes, I wonder how I ever became so doubtful or even pessimistic in my view of things. Oddly enough, I always, somehow, have a good stash of hope always burning tirelessly in me, and I just can’t let go. And the old phrase: “Just move on;” that’s another story. I’ve seen people fighting out of their crazed ways trying to “move on,” but it’s more than just a challenge. And for some, it’s heartbreaking. . .
Yep, I feel sick. My nose is running, and my fever is up again. . . funny, it’s like a switch—turning on and off whenever it feels like it. And of course, I’m rambling incoherently, in my opinion.
Wow. I’m amused. All of the holidays we’ve celebrated this past year landed on a Thursday: Thanksgiving, Christmas, and this New Year’s Day. Too bad that my birthday didn’t land on a Thursday this year, but that would’ve been nifty. Hehe. But I was born on a Thursday though. . .
Great, just great. Now my eyes are watery again. *sigh*
Okay, good night for now. I’m off to sleep, for my handwriting is beginning to look very not legible.
// rambled by A~Lotus at 12:13:00 PM
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© Kathy Nguyen, 2000-present.All rights reserved, unless if noted otherwise.
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All rights reserved, unless if noted otherwise.
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