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Rambles, ponderings, rants, and nonsense...
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Wednesday, December 03, 2003
me am twixed in emotions---i feel like my bipolarity is resurfacing once again---i hate that a whole lot... why is it always so hard for me to control my emotions now??? i was so good at it too... for years in running---i guess i couldn't hold it any longer, so everything came out so much this year...
sometimes i don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but i do know one thing: i'm happy to feel alive---happy to know that i've been given a chance at everything---happy that i'm myself and no one else, for no one would ever be like me...
and now here i am stuck in emotions that are gnawing at me---i miss you already... *sigh* sometimes my impatience takes the better part of me... i hate that---but fortunately, it's not always a constant thing... i've learnt much endurance and patience throughout the years that somehow, sometimes it feels like i'm able to do anything...
i'll wait forever... if i have to. i don't care... i don't care how much it hurts me... then again, i'm always lonely. and i don't mind it much, but maybe what i always needed is just someone who would love me in such a tender, nurturing way that would make me feel appreciated, un-lonely, and loved for once...
i just really can't think now... too much is going on in my head... and i'm typing away like a mindless idiot... like a zombie... so whatever i'm writing now may not make sense later...
well---bye now... back to studying...
// rambled by A~Lotus at 8:57:00 PM
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© Kathy Nguyen, 2000-present.All rights reserved, unless if noted otherwise.
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Lotus Love...
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© Kathy Nguyen, 2000-present.
All rights reserved, unless if noted otherwise.
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