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Rambles, ponderings, rants, and nonsense...
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Wednesday, December 03, 2003
me am sad--- *cry* where are you????
*sigh* oh well--- i'm gonna listen to the rest of all the music i've downloaded from kazaa---and then i'm gonna try and concentrate on these labs so i can pass the chem lab exam. thank god, there's no bio lab exam!! yay! that makes it less studying for me... i'm dead exhausted... 1 semester can go by really fast---so much faster than i've wanted it to be---so much faster that it's hard for me to find time for the regular things i'd be doing... but then, who am i fooling?? compared to most people, i'm prolly the most antisocial person ever, cuz it's so hard for me to keep friends, cuz they're always moving away or something... *shrug* but ironically, i never have any trouble making friends, cuz me am friendly and silly. =P
and other times, i just wanna be left alone---maybe i'm weird, but letting myself be my own friend, i don't have to hurt myself---sometimes i'm just scared of letting others know me too much or letting myself trust them too much, but most of all, i'm just scared of letting others know that i care about them too much---and also, i'm scared of letting others hurt me...
somehow, some time, or one of these days, i'm going to have to overcome this dreaded fear...
it's sad---but i never knew how much of my life lacks such comforting or nurturing love which i really needed so much... somehow i've always been abandoned or shoved off...
maybe i'll understand why it has always been so... just one of these days...
in the meantime, i'll just let myself love life, for somehow, my own destiny lies elsewhere... Thank you, God... if only i could understand the many questions of life...
// rambled by A~Lotus at 8:15:00 PM
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© Kathy Nguyen, 2000-present.All rights reserved, unless if noted otherwise.
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Lotus Love...
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© Kathy Nguyen, 2000-present.
All rights reserved, unless if noted otherwise.
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